pressing pause on my career

 y'all. this one was one that early 2020 lindsay would not have anticipated. 6 months ago, i turned in my resignation just a couple months shy of marking 8 years since i had started at my company. EIGHT! 

i'm officially a stay at home mom. without delving into the specifics, the primary reason was for my kids. i knew that i wouldn't be able to return to the same levels of productivity, dependability and reliability, and availability. these are things that are more or less required to succeed in our line of business, and i could not foresee myself feeling confident in returning to an environment where i had these (among other) self-imposed expectations of myself and be able to maintain my previously established rapport. so. after many discussions with my family, friends, and colleagues, i decided that leaving would be the best for me at this time.

now that my kids are a few months along into their first year of preschool, it's been an adjustment. i'm finally feeling able to accomplish things that i've been putting off -- like basic chores 😬, organizing my house, coming back to this blog, among other things. i've been trying to better allocate my time by planning my week and days for what i want to accomplish. i've been catching up on some video games. i've been meal planning -- more on this at a later time. and on the flip side, at least one of us has been sick like every other week since. so we've been staying home, at doctor's appointments or televisits, it's been kind of crazy. i know it's all for the better for our immune systems since we haven't really been out and about much, but it kind of sucks not being able (or well enough) to accomplish stuff.

in other news, paul changed companies a few months ago. he was at his previous company for 5-6 years or so. seems like it's been a nice change for him, and his new office is a lot closer to our house.

anyway, this has been what's up and we'll see how i'm feeling down the line about returning to the workforce. but for now, i am on a much needed break. ~Lindsay

3 years

 y'all. it's been over 3 years since my last post. i'm feeling particularly inspired tonight, so here's a quick update and general plans for direction of this blog. 

the primary reason for this post is that i didn't want my next post to come as a surprise whenever it is that i'm ready to type and publish it. often times, it's cathartic to type something out and not send (or in this case, submit) it, to be able to further review and refine your thoughts before making it "permanent".

yes, i'm still here! 2 kiddos later, and constantly both mentally and physically exhausted. more on that in a future blog post......maybe? i'm at the point that i'm no longer making these kinds of promises. i have a backlog of saved posts that i started before #1 was born, and i'm not sure what i want to do with them, if i even left myself enough notes on what i wanted to write about. 💁 as far as the future of this blog, i think with the many life changes since my last post, there will definitely be a shift in content. kids definitely take up a good part of your life and change your habits. that being said, i'll probably still post on an erratic schedule, with content being related to either what they're up to (no, this will not become like a "family channel" type of thing), products or stuff i'm really liking or doing, and maybe more cooking-related stuff. who knows.

as stated before, this blog is and has always been for fun as a side project and is something i delve into during my free time. in stating this, i will make ui adjustments as i please. i am a web developer too, ya know! (when i have the time to do so, i will be making some necessary changes..soon-ish.)

my instagram does work. my blog widget (on the right) is currently blank as there are currently no posts there yet. several months back, i made a decision to create a new handle for my personal use (for my prior account) and have a new account separate for blog use. thus, my pre-existing handle @lindsaydamodel is indeed still mine, but for blog use only. posts there will probably be like stuff i'm loving, influenster stuff (this will very likely be the bulk of it...), and i guess other random blog-related stuff. 🤷 to be honest, i haven't figured out what i want the first post there to be yet, so i haven't done anything with it. it will be some sort of introductory type post that will direct people here, just don't know what photo or caption i want just yet. (no. for the last time- i'm not seeking assistance with SEO. i'm ok with being under the radar. this. blog. is. for. fun.)

anyway, hope everyone's doing well and until next time! ~Lindsay

third trimester: thoughts and reflections

hi guys! the end is in sight! we're officially 39 weeks along, which is considered full term, and i figured that i should probably get this post up sooner than later, right? anyway, hope that this is helpful! ~Lindsay

shots! shots! shots!
i had to get 2 shots, one was RhoGam because my blood type is Rh negative and we think paul is positive. this shot is to ensure no issues occur if the baby's blood type is positive and our blood mixes. depending on baby's blood type, i'll be getting a second dose after delivery. yay~. the second shot that i had to get is Tdap, which is for a few different things, but most importantly whooping cough (the P). that way, i'd have immunity, and the baby will have some resistance until he needs to get his own.

third ultrasound
a few weeks ago, we were measuring a bit small so the doctor ordered another ultrasound to make sure we there were no issues with growth, etc. turns out, we're just little because i'm petite too and everything's fine. they gave us an idea of how he's measuring and about how much he'll be when he's out. what was cool about this round though was that he was positioned in such a way that the tech was able to show us his face! so neat!

movements
a lot of people mention getting jabbed in the ribs and such, but i never felt that. any time i'd feel movement, it was either my belly being stretched out or tiny limbs poking out in places...or what i'd equate to a small animal putting all of their weight onto one spot my pelvis. i'm not sure if he was sideways and facing the same side the whole time, but every time he'd press on my pelvis, it was 90% of the time on one side in about the same spot. also occasionally, i'd have a little trouble breathing because something was pushing up against my sternum, but once i'd poked at him some, he'd move away.
toward the beginning of the trimester, not so much the past month or so, he was waking up with my alarm clock. not sure if it was the sound or if me rousing would wake him. in recent weeks, he's usually not moving about until about 30 minutes or so after i get up and moving. otherwise, the whole time, he's been perked up throughout various (but fairly consistent) times in the day. on a couple occasions, like paul's office christmas party and a two day training i had recently, this guy was up basically the whole time. which was crazy.

body changes, sleep, aches and pains
never in my life did i have heartburn before about 2 months ago. and acid re-flux was nearly non-existent too. but omg, it was definitely there and real. they tell you to sit upright for a couple hours after eating each time. but that one night i had heartburn super bad, it didn't start hurting until a few hours after eating and lasted for several hours. it was the worst, especially since i didn't have any antacids yet and most places nearby were already closed for the night.
i did have a few headaches here and there in months 7&8. one of them was probably because it's a side effect of RhoGam, and it lasted like 4 days. other occasions were probably work-related, one of those lasted about 4 days as well. i still appreciate that these were headaches rather than migraines!
i don't really know how belly stretch marks even work out exactly, but i haven't seen any (i have a ton other places from growth spurts). supposedly if you grow fairly steadily, they won't be as bad, but that'll remain to be seen once i start shrinking back down after baby's here. also, apparently by now, a decent proportion of people's belly buttons pop out (if you have an innie prior) by now, and mine hasn't. it's been incredibly close, but it's like nah.
in recent weeks, i've been having a lot of pelvic pain and cramps. the cramping is being attributed to possible braxton-hicks, and the pelvic pain is just par for the course as this guy makes his descent. the pelvic pain is pretty tough because it is incredibly uncomfortable to move around. especially from sitting or laying positions, and less so when walking--but i suppose my lower back has been otherwise hurting too, lol. i do have a waist support band, but this kid knows instantly whenever i put it on and moves around, pushing on it the entire time.

baby classes, lactation consult
we took a few baby classes through our hospital, as well as the tour of the birth center. the baby classes were all directed by nurses and were primarily videos and powerpoints, with time for any questions or discussions. the classes seemed to have been all created by the same company and had a decent bit of overlap...but i suppose they've got to reinforce stuff some kind of way and people might not take all of the classes. the breastfeeding class and lactation consult were probably the ones we got the most use out of. the class was very informative and gave us a better idea of what to expect. and the lactation consult was during one of my appointments with my usual gyn nurse that i was seeing before my ob. and she more or less gave us the one on one time and to see how things worked and felt with a doll. there'll be a lactation nurse around after delivery for the real deal though.

nursing clothes
i'm super sad that the local maternity store is closing, but i can still shop their website. i guess ecommerce is still killing the brick and mortar clothing industry. personally, i like having the option of returning or exchanging clothes in the store, especially since it gives me the opportunity to peruse their wares in person and try them on if needed. anyway, that all aside, i've been living in nursing camisole tops the past couple weeks to get used to them. they're pretty comfy paired with a nice sweater!

maternity photos
a few weeks ago, we went to a nearby park and took photos. i'm not sure when she'll be finished editing them to send them over, since she mentioned she was already backlogged..but from what we saw on her viewfinder, they came out pretty nice!

second trimester: thoughts and reflections

hi guys!!! guess who wanted to put this post up months ago, forgot, got busy, and yeah..it didn't happen? 🙋 unfortunately, i have several other posts that i also wanted to put up sooner, but i think for the sake of things, it's not going to happen til after the baby's here. the good thing though... i left myself some prompts on this post as reminders..because guess what! i did kind of otherwise forget how the second trimester went. 😅 right now, i'm about 38 weeks along, so it's anyone's guess when this guy decides to make his appearance! anyway, onto how things went! ~Lindsay

the announcement
i really wanted to wait til after the first trimester was over before making the announcement. i didn't think we'd be at risk, but i still wanted to wait and be sure. we ended up making the announcement during birthday week celebrations (my husband, sister-in-law, and mother-in-law all have birthdays within the span of a week) as far as letting our immediate family know. after we told them, then it went to friends and extended family, and then socials.
i think the best thing with the announcement was feeling relieved that i no longer had to hide the fact that i had morning sickness all the time. i told my manager pretty early on, but my coworkers gave me the like, 'yeah..we knew something was up but weren't going to say anything.' so that was cool.

appetite and weight gain
the morning sickness finally went away sometime in september or early october, so the 4ish month mark. i was finally able to eat basically anything again and larger quantities -- close to, but not quite my usual portions. i still haven't had anything with bbq sauce since, but i was able to be around it without feeling sick anymore. so that was cool. it took me another month or so, but i was able to gain back the weight i lost with the morning sickness (~4 lbs) and steadily gained about a pound per week throughout the rest of the second trimester.

feeling movements
somewhere between week 18 - 19 i started noticing major movements. i can only attribute it to having a matcha frapp in the late afternoon, because boy, did this guy not let me sleep that night. pretty much for 4 hours straight he was moving like crazy. it went basically from feeling nothing to me being completely aware.

second ultrasound and gender reveal
the second ultrasound was around week 20, where we found out what we were having. the tech said he was very easy to get all the measurements, etc that we needed, and we also got to see him yawn a couple times. that weekend, we bought an outfit to reveal the gender to the family. a week or two later (despite a ton of extended family pestering), we finally did the reveal photo for the socials. my coworker had mentioned a pumpkin inside of a pumpkin..since it was october of course! so i got to carve my first pumpkin by myself (usually my mom did it), and i painted a smaller one to put inside.

glucose test
toward the end of week 23, i had an appointment and we did my glucose test. honestly, i'm not really sure why people say the glucose drink is super nasty. it does kinda suck that you have to chug like 10oz? in 5 minutes then wait an hour before they draw your blood for the test. they gave me the orange one, which really does taste like a non-carbonated orange drink. maybe i just have a sweet tooth and the taste didn't bother me? thankfully, we passed!

body changes
there were some definite body changes throughout the second trimester, i got to a point where i was visibly showing (for people who didn't know what i looked like on the regular). around the beginning of the second trimester, i got myself a maternity body pillow because sleeping became uncomfortable, and i tend to sleep on my back and i needed to get used to sleeping on one side or the other for my organs' sake. this did cause a bit of discomfort and slight pain as i had to learn the feels of this new positioning. sometime in the second trimester, i started using belly lotion/butter products on the regular. we live in a pretty humid climate, so i hate putting lotion on whenever i don't need to. the stickiness. ew. but this is basically daily now, both to keep moisturized and the hope to reduce any stretch marks. toward the middle or end of the trimester, i started having trouble emptying my bladder fully. which sucked. so i ended up having to lift my belly or continually reposition myself to make sure i was done. ugh. as far as my skin, it cleared up during this time, probably with the change in hormones again, and it was back to about how it was when i was on the pill. i saw incredibly few problem spots, if at all during this time, which was super awesome!

collective haul - random other stuff

heya! so i didn't really know how to categorize this one, so i just kinda threw all these items together into one post.. also, i've been playing a lot of video games over the past year or so (whenever i actually have time) since i built my new computer. i've been predominantly playing games on either Steam or the Switch, and since games on steam are digital, i haven't ever really talked about them much on here before. the recent favorite, which i haven't played for about a month now and need to finish...is code vein! ~Lindsay

1. my job involves a lot of travel, but thankfully the projects i've been on require little to no travel. that being said, one of my coworkers brought back a bag of this strawberry milk candy from california and it's the best! it's like a lozenge, but with crunchy layers inside. yum! (ordered from amazon)

1. these charmed aroma bath bombs were pretty nice. the cauldron took some time to fully fizz because it was mostly enclosed, but the scents were super nice. the rings inside were really pretty too. i can't recall which of the opal rings came from which product, but the black and pink one came out of the cauldron. these bath bombs came in various sizes of your choosing, and also came with codes to confirm their value on the site. i think the total supposed value of these was around $50-$75, which is interesting considering how costume-y they feel. regardless, i like them and wear them on occasion.

1. it's been a real real long time since i made a CBV order! since A is into the whole scentsy thing, i wanted to get her a few scent shots to try, and i happened to place my order during a wax freebie event. i had to get my all time favorites - tiffany d and tiffany d 2.0, and i've been eyeing the mermaid and unicorn candles, and i got some mini jelly jars of japanese cherry blossom and birds of paradise.
2. i went to the local mistletoe market recently and among gifts, bought some stuff for me, right? anyway, i got some caramel corn and cinnamon sugar roasted almonds --yum! and i got two bars of soap and a bath bomb to try. i also came across a husband-wife duo that were selling candles with gemstones inside. they have an etsy shop called TheLotusApothecary. these guys really hooked me on the scents, moreso than the gems, lol. so i got the prosperity and protection candles.